What a Blessing

...to have this within walking distance!

The Great Wall, Take 4

On Wednesday, I made my 4th visit to the Great Wall, this time with all the other new teachers and team leaders.  We couldn't have had better weather!  Hours of pouring rain on Tuesday night cleared out Beijing's typically smoggy and humid skies, leaving a beautiful blue sky.  I definitely think the gorgeous weather and the wonderful company made this most recent visit a great one.

Me with some other team leaders

Jumping on the Great Wall!

Team photo

Inadequate

Nothing like a new position to make you feel inadequate. Actually, scratch that. Nothing like the voice of the Enemy when you’re in a new position to make you feel inadequate. Since I’ve started my new role as a team leader, I’ve felt cruddier than I have in a very long time. Tons of issues that I’d dealt with long ago are cropping back up in an attempt to stop me in my tracks. Fear, doubt, worry, self-esteem; shouldn’t I be past all these things already? The fact that they’re reappearing only makes me feel even more disqualified for this job. Then when I think of all the responsibilities I have, most importantly to my team, but also to my school and organization, another wave of panic hits me. Remind me, did I voluntarily sign up for this? What was I thinking?

But in the midst of all my inner turmoil and struggle, I hear the still quiet voice that brings peace. He soothes my worries and doubts, while telling me that, yes, I am inadequate for this position. I can’t do this job on my own, nor was I ever meant to. I can’t change people’s hearts, I can’t make my teammates desire a strong team community, and I certainly can’t make them love China. I can foster those things, but expecting myself to do all that on my own is bearing a burden I wasn’t meant to carry.

And so, I continue to feel unprepared for the task ahead, but this time knowing that there is a purpose in my inadequacies. Where I am weak, He is strong. With His help, I do the best I can and leave the rest at His feet.

The Beijing Amazing Race

My team is here! They and all the other new teachers arrived yesterday at noon. Today, in order to help them get over jet lag, as well as get them acquainted to the city where they’ll be staying for the next several weeks, we had a “Beijing Amazing Race”, a scavenger hunt of sorts. It came out pretty early that our team is not very competitive, so instead of checking off boxes and finding information, we visited the required neighborhoods and just wandered around.

First team photo! (L-R: Drew, Tony, Abby, Elise, me)

Keeping the sun away with umbrellas, hats and sunglasses

Tony enjoying a massage?

While we were wandering around near the Drum Tower, we came across a bunch of clowns doing magic tricks. As it turns out, Drew can also do some tricks, and so the two sides began showing each other what they could do. It didn’t take long before they were drawing a crowd.

So, even though we didn’t come anywhere near winning the Beijing Amazing Race, we had a fun and successful first outing as a team. Hopefully it’s the first of many.

The Hair Conversation

When I began formal language study, one of the first things I asked my tutor was how to talk about my hair in Chinese. From day 1, people have been asking me about it, and I wanted to be able to describe it in a way they can understand. Everyone always asks the same questions, in the same order and reacts the same way. It turns out, even after I describe my hair, they still don’t fully get it, but I can’t blame them. If all I’d ever seen of black hair was cornrows on NBA players, I’d be pretty curious too.

Here is a pretty good translation of the hair conversation that I have at least once a week. Curious shopkeeper could be replaced by nosy neighbor, interested student or random person behind me on the bus.

Curious Shopkeeper: (after staring at my while ringing up my groceries) Is your hair real or fake? (Or, the more bold ones might ask, “Your hair is fake, right?”)
Me: It’s real.
CSK: Wow, really? I thought it was fake.
Me: No, it’s real.
CSK: Is it permed (to make it curly)?
Me: No, my hair is naturally very curly.
CSK: So when you were born, was your hair like that? You know, in strands like that?
Me: No, this kind of hair doesn’t grow down, it grows out. (Cue hand motions.) This is just a hairstyle.
CSK: So how do you make it like that?
Me: It’s a little like braids.
CSK: So do you go to a hair salon to do it?
Me: No, I do it myself.
CSK: You do it yourself? Wow! How do you wash it?
Me: The same as everyone else. When I wash it, it won’t come apart.
CSK: Wow, it doesn’t come apart? It’s so special! Can my hair do that?
Me: No, because your hair is straight, it wouldn’t look the same.
CSK: (overcome by curiosity) Can I touch it?
Me: (reluctantly, but thankful s/he at least asked first) Okay.
CSK: Wow it’s so hard! Your hair is so unique!
Me: Thanks. (Try to walk away with my purchased goods)

All Grown Up

There is a remarkable thing that happens to Chinese university students between their freshman and sophomore year.

My first year in Hengyang, I had only one freshman class. They were a little unusual among freshman classes, because they were very chatty and highly motivated, but they still fit the typical freshman mold: unsure of themselves and where they fit in, with little experience about anything unrelated to study, wearing unfashionable clothing and awkward haircuts, and giggly at the mere mention of boys and boyfriends.

Fast forward a year and their transformation is nearly complete. Recently they invited me to watch them practice a dance they had choreographed for a competition. The innocence and shyness they had as freshmen had been replaced by a bold confidence in their newfound sexuality. I nearly had to pick my jaw up off the floor as I watched nearly all the girls in the class perform a hip hop dance routine, complete with booty shaking and hip grinding. Where did my cute, innocent little freshmen go?

I suppose it’s only natural that they would grow up and mature into adults. It’s just a little jarring when it happens in just one year.

Sunday Sabbath

I LOVE Sundays. On Sunday I sabbath: I don’t meet with students, I don’t do anything teaching related, and if the culture’s been stressing me out, sometimes I don’t even leave my house. Sunday is my day of rest, and I rest to the fullest.

Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not a complete bum on Sundays. Well, at least not every Sunday. During my Sabbath I like to do things that rest me in different ways. Here are some of my favorite things to do on Sunday:

• Sleep in. Even though my body typically doesn’t let me sleep past 8:30, there’s just something satisfying about waking up when you’re ready to.

• Listen to a sermon. Typically I listen to podcasts from The Village Church, a church in the Dallas area, while enjoying a large cup of coffee.

• Journal. Sundays give me a chance to slow down, reflect on the past week, spend extended time in prayer and write down all the thoughts that have been floating through my head.

• Be alone. For an introvert like me, engaged in work involves a lot of people time, it’s critical that I get some time to myself.

• Play video games. I’m not much of a gamer, but I’ve always been a fan of the Sims. I only let myself play on Sundays, otherwise I waste too much time.

• Fellowship with teammates. Usually Portia, Daniel, Amber and I will meet in the afternoon to worship and listen to a sermon together. Afterwards, we’ll usually walk to the front gate of our school and enjoy dinner a “nice” restaurant, one with doors.

Sunday afternoon at the Yellow Tea Shop, which has doors

Now that you know how I spend my time, you can see why I might enjoy Sundays so much. I look forward to it all week, and I’m a bit bummed when it’s over. Now if all the Ten Commandments were this easy and enjoyable to keep, I’d be a lot closer to godliness.